Awake
Consumed by my thoughts. Living in a nightmare. When am I going to be able to stop feeling like I'm suffocating from the inside out? My heart is heavy and tight. This must be what a heart attack feels like. Somebody let go, please; let go of my heart and stop squeezing. My stomach keeps fluttering... or maybe it's growling. I can't tell the difference between physical, emotional, or mental distress anymore. I cry more than I breathe. I sometimes forget to breathe. I have to remind myself to blink. My eyes are red. My body feels weak. I'm floating away without my anchor. If I try to forget, I remember. Instead of hatred, I feel love. I've been stomped on. I am drained. I am afraid. I am unsure. I am a nervous wreck. If I am bleeding, I can't tell. My head is aching. I am sad. I am dark. I am not me. She is happy. Two weeks ago, I was taking a pregnancy test. Two weeks ago, I had it all. Two weeks ago, I was full of love, hope, dreams, joy, security, promises, t