Today Morning...

Happy birthday to me... I am thirty four years old now and I have so much to be thankful for.  I have never been the type of person to take things for granted. I value what I have; all of it.  I have life, for starters. For the most part, I have good health - let's just say I have no terminal illnesses. I have a home to live in. I have a car to take me places. I have an amazing job. I have family and friends who care about me.  I have love. I have food to eat every day. I have shoes on my feet. I have running water. I have electricity and central air. I have a sound mind. I have all of my limbs and the ability to use them. I know that every time I am granted another day of life, the sun will also be there to greet me. In my thirty four years, I've loved, I've lost, I've seen snow, I've left the country, I've been wealthy, I've been poor, and I've lived in rented (and owned) rooms, apartments, and houses.  I've fallen. I've broken a bone. I'

 Your mother and I decided that it was time to convert your room into an office / craft room.  Son, my heart is heavy with this decision.  I've kept your room intact for almost two years...  Since you were born, that room has been a safe haven for me.  I go there to think; to grieve; to talk to you; and to feel peace.  I go there when I miss you; I imagine you in your crib. I've played with your toys; unfastened and refastened the velcro of the cute flip flops you would have worn last summer.  I dust and polish the furniture regularly. I sit in the glider and rock back and forth with my feet up on the ottoman; wishing I was rocking you to sleep.  I meditate. I touch the elephants... a gift from your grandmother.  I open the dresser drawers and unfold and refold tiny infant clothes that you never got to wear.  I admire the beautiful diaper bag your mother bought for me to carry and the collection of cloth diapers inside.  I close my eyes and feel the fuzzy and soft fabrics.  I

I've had a lot of people request a written recipe for the fondant cake I vlogged about on YouTube, so here it is! Also, my God-daughter came over that night to help me decorate a few more cakes, so here are a few picture of a few cakes we decorated together that night. The other picture is of a cake I recently made for a dinner party. I'm no "Cake Boss", but I really do enjoy making these cakes! Fondant Icing Cake’s Ingredients: 1 1/2 cups of butter 2 1/2 cups of granulated sugar 3 cups of all-purpose flour 1 cup of milk 5 eggs 1 teaspoon Almonds Extract (I’m using the almonds extract but you can easily replace it with pure vanilla extract or any other flavor you like) 3/4 teaspoon of baking powder 1/4 teaspoon of salt Remember, this is NOT a light and fluffy cake, by any means. It's a denser cake. If you're going to make a big cake, this is definitely the recipe to use because the weight of the fondant might weigh a lighter cake down too

So I've always been drawn to children; and they've always been drawn to me.  Yesterday, I got to school a little early and as I waited by the elevator to ride up to my lab, a little girl (around 2) and her mom walked up. As we walked into the elevator, she looked up at me and said "hi" in the sweetest little voice ever and waved. She was smiling so big and she was just sooo beautiful. Her mother said to me "Do you have kids?" I responded with a simple "no ... ", but was still smiling and conversing with the baby (saying hi back and forth like five times). She grunted as she picked up the baby and put her on her hip and said "you're lucky". I wonder if she noticed the tear as I got off the elevator and said goodbye to her daughter. Some people really don't value the gifts they have... </3

Sunday Morning Breakfast This morning we had omelets prepared with hormone-free, free-range organic eggs filled with organic spinach, organic heirloom tomatoes, and topped with organic cheddar cheese.  We also had hormone-free turkey bacon, organic breakfast potatoes with organic onions, and a side of organic strawberries and organic blueberries.  ♥

I realize I have not been updating this blog as often as I make videos... I really want to get better about that. I re-read some of my posts and realized that I didn't post an update about my organic produce delivery service. I actually ended up getting a phone call from the company that failed us in January and they asked me to become a coordinator! That changed everything. As a coordinator, you get your organic produce for F-R-E-E. You can't compete with free, can you? We have been receiving produce from Annie's Buying Club for a few months now and I really am happy with them. Their customer service got much better! The reason there was such a huge communication gap the first time around was because the owner had just delivered a baby and she had a lot on her plate. Since I've been coordinating in our city, things have been running quite smoothly! TTC Update: I finally came to terms with the fact that I can try to conceive again. What does that mean for ou

A month to be exact. I looked at the calendar and just can't even believe we are already in March. Didn't we JUST celebrate New Years?  Anyhow, this month has been extremely hard for us. We lost our son last year on March 2, 2010.  We went up to the beach on what would have been his first birthday and released a balloon to the Heavens for our sweet baby boy. I've also been busy with school and with childcare. I've been taking care of a special needs baby. I absolutely LOVE taking care of that sweet baby girl.  The only downfall is that she lives two hours away, so when I go to her house, I have to leave my house at 530am and then I don't get home until after 10pm. The good news is that I only do that a couple of days a week and am compensated very fairly for my time and reimbursed for my gas as well. ☺ Plus, I get to spend time holding a sweet baby all day long.  It's a dream job. Jenna and I have not made any TTC updates on YouTube since our BFN.  Basically

If you follow us on YouTube, you know that we had our IUI yesterday.  We had two mature follicles: 22mm and 18mm.  Our specimen had roughly 65 million sperm, which was THE BEST we have ever had.  So, here we are in our 2WW.  What do we do to stay sane?? Day one:  Jenna got up to go to work this morning.  She felt a little icky from the IUI yesterday because her cervix wasn't exactly centered, so they had to adjust it.  I started a scrapbook page that displays all of our OPK's (we took eight of them) and a copy of our trigger shot prescription.  Jenna started taking pregnancy tests today so that we can hopefully watch the trigger shot HCG level drop from her system as the lines fade.  That way if we get a positive reading towards the end of our 2WW (if we cheat) we will at least know without a doubt that it wasn't a result of any lingering trigger shot HCG hormones.  That's all for  now!  I don't have class today, but I have a very very busy ahead of me.  I am go

Jenna took me to a small Italian festival near our home last night.  Believe it or not, it was our first time going to a festival together.  It took me way back to my childhood.  There was a great mixture of music, food, vendors, games, and rides.  I felt like I was nine years old again.  Our best friend and her daughter (our God-daughter) joined us for a while.  Jenna took Hailey on all the rides.  Watching them together warms my heart and makes me look forward to the days of mommyhood ahead of us.  Jenna is such a loving and free spirit.  She is going to definitely have the "fun mom" title.  I'll probably be the strict mom, the one they get mad at because I make them eat their vegetables and go to bed on time. Hahaha. While walking through the festival, we came across a booth with two authors... sweet, sweet women, older in age.  They had a few books on display - some for children and some for ages 8-88 (as one of the authors put it).  They were both so comical, gentl

I know I've been M.I.A. for a while.  It's been a busy time in my household. First of all, the plan to get the organic produce delivery was a fail.  I signed up for the delivery service on the 10th of January and was supposed to get my very first shipment on January 21, 2010.  On January 20, even though my online profile said everything was scheduled and good to go, I still hadn't heard from the coordinator (I was supposed to pick my shipment up the following day) and so I gave her a call.  She didn't even know who I was.  She said she would get back to me and she NEVER did.  I emailed the owner and she said everything should be fine and that she would get back to me.  That night (just before midnight), I get an email saying that due to lack of participation, there would not be a delivery this week.  W-H-A-T?!?!  I kept in touch with them off and on from January 10 - 20 and you wait until the night before to tell me that I wouldn't have any produce the following d